[It's leaving out a lot. A lot. But surely it's mostly completely irrelevant, surely, so he's not going to bother.]

I knew he'd be able to, if pushed hard enough. SOLDIERs of my rank are ... very hard to kill on a good day, and I knew I couldn't trust anyone else to actually do it.

[And he's well aware it was a bad decision; he's visibly uncomfortable with it.]

It seemed like a good idea at the time.