[The first ever. Well, technically true, but also technically not, as Cloud now knows. The first was the other version of him who was here before, and that started during a breach. But Cloud also knows that it's him Sephiroth is - was always - focused on, thinking of, and for the purposes of what Angeal's saying, it might not really matter anyway.
Build a life with, huh? Angeal's not the first to pose the question that way, although Zack didn't put it in quite those terms. Cloud told Zack yes, he could see a way forward with the person Sephiroth is now, and that hasn't changed. He knows there are important questions they'll need to answer once they've both graduated - once they both have lives to build - but he feels pretty confident that he's not going to change his mind. Frankly, he has a hard time imagining a life without Sephiroth in it.
Maybe that's part of why he felt so unsatisfied, so listless, after Meteorfall was over and the rebuilding began. Even when Sephiroth was the enemy...he was always there.
Angeal's words resonate with thoughts Cloud's had before. It's why he asked the Admiral for something Sephiroth had always wanted, back during the holidays. It's why he took Sephiroth riding with him for their first actual date. And it's why he keeps hounding Sephiroth about having opinions of his own, wanting things for himself.
And more selfishly...Sephiroth is the only one who makes Cloud feel truly wanted. Needed. If he can do what Angeal's describing, help Sephiroth find wonder and joy and dreams again, live up to the way Sephiroth sees him - then he wants to, more than anything. He wants to be worthy of the limitless trust that Sephiroth seems to put in him like no one else does anymore.]
...I will. I've been trying, but the Barge is... [A pause.] No. No buts. I'll try harder. As hard as I can. I'm not going to let Sephiroth down. I promise.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2025-02-15 07:38 am (UTC)Build a life with, huh? Angeal's not the first to pose the question that way, although Zack didn't put it in quite those terms. Cloud told Zack yes, he could see a way forward with the person Sephiroth is now, and that hasn't changed. He knows there are important questions they'll need to answer once they've both graduated - once they both have lives to build - but he feels pretty confident that he's not going to change his mind. Frankly, he has a hard time imagining a life without Sephiroth in it.
Maybe that's part of why he felt so unsatisfied, so listless, after Meteorfall was over and the rebuilding began. Even when Sephiroth was the enemy...he was always there.
Angeal's words resonate with thoughts Cloud's had before. It's why he asked the Admiral for something Sephiroth had always wanted, back during the holidays. It's why he took Sephiroth riding with him for their first actual date. And it's why he keeps hounding Sephiroth about having opinions of his own, wanting things for himself.
And more selfishly...Sephiroth is the only one who makes Cloud feel truly wanted. Needed. If he can do what Angeal's describing, help Sephiroth find wonder and joy and dreams again, live up to the way Sephiroth sees him - then he wants to, more than anything. He wants to be worthy of the limitless trust that Sephiroth seems to put in him like no one else does anymore.]
...I will. I've been trying, but the Barge is... [A pause.] No. No buts. I'll try harder. As hard as I can. I'm not going to let Sephiroth down. I promise.