It's hard to describe what he feels in this moment. What it means to him to have this. To really...have Angeal back.
He knows things can't be like they were. Too much has happened, and like Angeal said before, there's a gulf of years and experiences between them. Zack is never going to be that energetic, undisciplined teenager again...and they're never going to have the same relationship they had in SOLDIER.
But that...it doesn't matter. Because Zack knows the reason why he was able to hold the line. To remain strong even when it seemed like the entire world was crumbling all around him.
It's because of this man. His mentor. His friend. His...family. And whatever sins Angeal had to his name didn't change that immutable fact.
So Zack holds him tight for as long as Angeal with allow. And even though there are tears and quiet sobs...he's relieved. He's happy. He knows they're in for a bumpy ride, of course...but just having this opportunity is more than he ever dared to hope for.
There's a part of him that still feels responsible for Zack, that he must find the cause of distress and do something about it even though the man is grown now and has been getting along just fine without him for years.
And he's the cause, this time. Zack had always bounced back quickly. A less than flawless mission, training that wasn't going as expected, trouble with one thing or another ... but those were different.
Minor. The worries of a child. He could fool himself, if he closed his eyes and disregarded where they were, think that time had somehow turned back and something not-him had gone terribly wrong. But those days were past. It takes a while before Angeal says anything, waiting until tears begin to run out, waiting until he can trust his own voice to be reasonably calm and steady.
He's grown up now; that much is true. But just because he's been living his life without Angeal for years doesn't mean he didn't miss him. Or that Zack ever stopped wishing he could talk to him just one more time - especially when things got hard.
It does feel strange being a Warden with Angeal being the Inmate, but... It feels like...they really can get through it. Maybe not for a while - but he believes it'll happen.
The tears do finally run dry, and Zack...pulls back a little. There's a sheepish expression on his face, but...he seems lighter than before.
There's meaning in one being a warden and the other an inmate, somewhere; Zack made the right decisions, when things came down to it. Angeal .. did not.
Things should have never happened this way. Zack shouldn't have been forced to do the things he'd had to do, and he knew it, no matter how sensible it had seemed at the time. Any meeting here should have been on different terms. But should have beens don't affect what actually happened, and Angeal is reluctant to let go.
He will, but it doesn't mean he wants to. "Don't worry about it, I get messier in the kitchens." A little tears and sogginess are really not a big deal versus what he's capable of coming home with after dinner rush.
"...Zack. I may regret the things I did, and I think I always will. But I want to be clear." He never quite edges into stern, it's not about that, but there's a certain firmness to his tone anyway - this is important to him. "I have never once regretted you. You were always the right choice."
no subject
He knows things can't be like they were. Too much has happened, and like Angeal said before, there's a gulf of years and experiences between them. Zack is never going to be that energetic, undisciplined teenager again...and they're never going to have the same relationship they had in SOLDIER.
But that...it doesn't matter. Because Zack knows the reason why he was able to hold the line. To remain strong even when it seemed like the entire world was crumbling all around him.
It's because of this man. His mentor. His friend. His...family. And whatever sins Angeal had to his name didn't change that immutable fact.
So Zack holds him tight for as long as Angeal with allow. And even though there are tears and quiet sobs...he's relieved. He's happy. He knows they're in for a bumpy ride, of course...but just having this opportunity is more than he ever dared to hope for.
no subject
And he's the cause, this time. Zack had always bounced back quickly. A less than flawless mission, training that wasn't going as expected, trouble with one thing or another ... but those were different.
Minor. The worries of a child. He could fool himself, if he closed his eyes and disregarded where they were, think that time had somehow turned back and something not-him had gone terribly wrong. But those days were past. It takes a while before Angeal says anything, waiting until tears begin to run out, waiting until he can trust his own voice to be reasonably calm and steady.
It takes time. "Are you going to be alright?"
no subject
It does feel strange being a Warden with Angeal being the Inmate, but... It feels like...they really can get through it. Maybe not for a while - but he believes it'll happen.
The tears do finally run dry, and Zack...pulls back a little. There's a sheepish expression on his face, but...he seems lighter than before.
"Uh...yeah."
A good cry is healthy! He needed it!
"I, uh...sorry. About the mess."
He's pretty sure he got Angeal's shirt all wet.
"...thank you."
no subject
Things should have never happened this way. Zack shouldn't have been forced to do the things he'd had to do, and he knew it, no matter how sensible it had seemed at the time. Any meeting here should have been on different terms. But should have beens don't affect what actually happened, and Angeal is reluctant to let go.
He will, but it doesn't mean he wants to. "Don't worry about it, I get messier in the kitchens." A little tears and sogginess are really not a big deal versus what he's capable of coming home with after dinner rush.
"...Zack. I may regret the things I did, and I think I always will. But I want to be clear." He never quite edges into stern, it's not about that, but there's a certain firmness to his tone anyway - this is important to him. "I have never once regretted you. You were always the right choice."